So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
