Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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