so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
