Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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