That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he laminated a picture of his dick.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
