yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
