i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
