finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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