I bet he comes in French.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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