is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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