What a fucking waste of an outfit
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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