I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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