she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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