You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
