farters have to be the big spoon...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
