She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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