Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
