I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You don't make any sense
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