We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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