If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize