Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
