Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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