Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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