I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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