White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
PANTIES FOUND
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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