ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
