it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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