Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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