My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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