if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
