All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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