Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
