i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
