I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
