i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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