i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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