Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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