She announced her abortion via fbk
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
