Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
dude. I can hear the air.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
