We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
