Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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