you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
