I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize