plz talk dirty to me
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
