Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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