I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
