and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
