i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
