Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
