After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
