wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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