To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
