Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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