I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
