We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
