i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
