Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize