Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
